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BoFdate 14th August 2008
Comedy is all about timing. If you look the work of any of
the great comedians – Richard Pryor, Billy Connolly, erm, Tom O’Connor – you’ll
see that timing is everything. And now a new name can be added to that list:
David Cameron. Whilst on a visit to some of the more delicately balanced constituencies
of the North, Cameron was hard at work trying to help people to forget that it
was his political Grandmother that pulled the still-beating heart from many a
Northern industry. What he didn’t need whilst munching on a tripe sandwich with
the local pigeon fancying group was a report from, reputedly, his favourite
think tank recommending that vast numbers of Northerners should head south
before they and their lice-ridden cities are sucked down to the tenth level of
Hell. read more
BoFdate 4th August 2008
Homophobia. Bizarre,
isn’t it? The homophobic amongst you may
disagree, but in between shaving swastikas into the back of your half cousin’s
head (if you live in Illinois) or repressing your inappropriate lusts for the
local vicar (if you live in Buckinghamshire)
take a moment to consider why you find the gay folk around you so very
startling. Amongst the rich variety of
homophobic culture, from Jim Davidson to Hitler to the Pope, there is very
little that actually pinpoints why certain people are so horrified by the
concept of gays and lesbians, outside of ‘eugh, bum sex’ or ‘eugh, spiky
mullets’. read more
BoFdate 29th July 2008
"It ain't about how hard ya hit.
It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward… That's how winning
is done!" proclaimed the great political theorist Rocky Balboa. Unfortunately for Prime Minister Gordon
Brown, voters in Glasgow East last week delivered a stinging below the belt hit,
leaving Clubber Brown immobile on the canvas clutching a bruised pair of ballot
boxes. Managing to carelessly mislay a
majority of 13,507, it didn't take long before Labour backbenchers started
shouting for Brown to (wait for it, you can't rush a clichéd boxing metaphor)
throw in the towel. read more
BoFdate 14th July 2008
Is it a bird? Is it a
plane? Is a condom crossed with a hair
net with one end chopped off? No. It’s Temenos.
Fear it. Despite sounding like a
minor adversary of Doctor Who, Temenos is the first of five massive sculptures
planed for North East England’s best loved beauty spots; Middlesbrough,
Stockton, Redcar, Hartlepool and Darlington.
Or the Teesside Rivera as they are better known. By an addled tramp eating pigeons on a park
bench in Hartlepool. But Temenos is set to challenge the drug
dependent, prostitute infested, nuclear infused, culturally and intellectually retarded
image of the North East. Indeed, once
the last of the ‘The Tees Valley Giants’ has been completed, the construction team
are rumoured to be turning their attention to Chernobyl,
or ‘the glowing heart of Russia’. read more
BoFdate 10th July 2008
Whinging: if there’s one thing we can’t stand at The BoF its
hearing morons whinging and whining on about shite that you know full well they
haven’t got the brass balls to oppose when it comes down to it. Whereas we like
to present an eloquent if occasionally ill-informed rant about the issues of
the day and what we’ll do about it come the great revolution [looks at sky
whilst tapping watch], there’s a world of difference between the prolonged
spouting of hilarious rage and the feeble whinnying of some two-dimensional
fanny. And with that said, let’s have a
look at a couple of choice whingings that have caught the eye over the past few
days… read more
Read more BoFage in the archives
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