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13th June 2008
The Stand
Great moments of making a stand are in short supply these
days. Principle, honour, dignity – old
fashioned. You can’t open a branch of
Costa Coffee in a principle. Gone are
the days of bravely gunning down Zulus. Or opposing the brave gunning down of
Zulus. Perhaps it is our cynical, media
saturated age where every action and statement is deconstructed to death,
rendering any attempt at honourable action immediately suspect. Or alternatively is it the pretence of
principle enacted by people who proclaim “I only know what I believe” when what
they apparently believe is bollocks?
Such duplicitous pantomime suggests a grim future for the principled
man. The cowardly, grubby beast
scarpering at the first sign of trouble and above all making sure one’s ass is
protected from all invasive accusations of blame seems to prevail. To whom can we turn in these deconstructed
days for glimpse of inspiring principled goodness?
David Davis? This
week the shadow home secretary and MP for Haltemprice and Howden went mad, resigned, then declared he was re-applying for his own
job. The ensuing by-election will be
fought on a platform of civil liberties, he says, as Davis is not keen on locking people up for 42
days without trial. Unlike Parliament,
which voted in favour of the Counter-Terrorism Bill with a mighty majority of
nine, and no deals with the DUP. Oh no,
none at all. Gordon Brown said so. Say otherwise and you’ll be detained for 42
days without trial. Possibly.
He’s a publicity seeker, say opponents. He’s making a stand for freedom, say
supporters. Nughn… does he have to? say
people in Haltemprice and Howden. We at the BoF prefer to think ex-SAS man
Davis has gone rogue like Treadstone operative Jason Bourne. During the forthcoming campaign watch out for
Davis driving a mini in a high speed car chase through the streets of
Haltemprice and assassinating Jackie Smith with a rolled up copy of The Spectator. Davis has claimed massive support for his actions, citing the BBC’s Have your say
page as evidence. Oh dear. Home of the terminally bored and the
terminally small minded, Have Your Say has been known to feature such valid
opinion as “All parties except communist party should be abolished” and “it
sounds bleak, but even the human herd needs to be culled every so often.” So, Davis is clearly
deranged. Who does that leave us
with? The Truckers? Those brave lads who deliver the fuel so we
can sit in traffic jams all day burning it are on strike and demanding a pay
rise. Tony Woodley, joint general
secretary of Unite said "The drivers are on £31,800. That is not a great
deal of money” He then asked his man servant to fetch another lobster and
Beluga caviar sandwich and his ivory toothpick.
Thirty grand? And asking for
forty? Has the price of butties and the Daily Star soared that much? That’s the truckers out.
How about Museum staff?
In another principled pay dispute people who keep the dust off stuffed
animals and scale replicas of Stephenson’s Rocket want more cash. Dave Allen, a union official, said: "Our
members' dedication to conveying the importance of London's history and archaeology does not
mean they will put up with antediluvian pay.”
Reasonable enough, but for forcing us to look up the word
‘antediluvian’, Dave loses his honourable kudos.
Is
all lost then? Are we left adrift in
world of middle managers marking out their territory with malice infused
urine? Not just yet. In the morass of
unprincipled whining and double dealing, a light shines out. One news story this week gives us hope that
people will stand up for what is right and will win through in the end. Read it and weep blathers and whiners: “RAF
pilot wins moustache battle.” Yes! “An RAF fighter pilot has won his
battle with the United States Air Force over the size of his handlebar
moustache.” Oh it just gets better. Flight
Lieutenant Chris Ball put hirsute honour on the line, took on the Yankees and
won after he was told to trim his upper lip adornment whilst serving on an exchange
posting with the USAF. Does this story
not exemplify everything that is good about humanity as opposed to whining road
kings and mad politicians? Let the bold Flight Lieutenant be a
torch bearer for integrity, principle, honour and the moustache. Next time you face a crisis of conscience,
next time you stand on the brink of cowardice, next time you are poised to
betray yourself and others, think of an intact handle bar moustache, and do the
right thing.
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